One of the realities of my existance (brought mostly on by my wonderful employment situation) is that I have only basic cable. This causes me to do weird things, horrible things, terrible things, things I would not ordinarily consider.
This semester, for instance, I am at home for lunch, so I've been watching The Red Green Show while I eat my sandwich (we get CBC on basic cable). But about two weeks ago, I turn it on, and women's curling is on instead.
I wasn't going to watch....I didn't really want to watch...but there was nothing else on, and I really couldn't see concentrating 100% on a hot ham and cheese...it would've been a waste of mental power. So I put curling on, and as it was a tournament, I got curling for an entire week.
Now, forgive me if this offends or makes me look more like a pig than I actually am, but I found the whole experience of watching women's curling to be terribly...erotic. There were some mighty attractive curlers there (even the ones whose hair was straight, HA HA HA HA HA...sorry)...I think either the Ontario or the Manitoba team had the most babes. And then they started to play, and they started to yell...."Woah!!!!" ....."Harderrrr!!!!!!!" ....."Yeasssss!!!!!!" ....."Curl!!!!!!!!!" Tell me, it's not a stretch to get turned on by this, is it?
So then my wife came home one day and asked me what I was watching. Then she said (no lie) "All that yelling sounds like you're watching a porn." God, I love my wife. Maybe I need to ask her to start carrying around a broom....
But I digress. The tournament ended, and I thought my life would continue as it had before. Alas, this week, CBC started broadcasting a MEN's curling tournament. Even Lori admits there is nothing erotic about it.
And yet I continue to watch...because (gasp!) I have become interested in the sport! I have started to think about strategy. I know most of the rules. And, heaven forbid, I have thought about curling myself.
Somebody please broadcast a swamp racing competition, quick!!!!