Tuesday, May 17, 2005

rules for badasses

from my own personal observations:

1) You cannot be a badass and be in love...even if the significant other is also trying to be a badass. Holding hands kills the effect.

2) You especially cannot be a badass and be with children. There's something about telling your kid "okay, honey, you can get your picture taken with the Easter Bunny" that also kills the effect.

3) You cannot be a badass at the zoo or at any family friendly surroundings. You are not tough looking at penguins.

4) If you are at the zoo, no amount of leather or trenchcoat will

5) Please leave camoflauge to the army.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


Finally, a car "I want to show my political affiliation" magnet that cuts to the heart of the issue: the Bush Fish. While there is a lot negative to say about this line of thinking, at least they're finally being honest...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

the period of hell is over! let the posting commence!

I'm back! Expect to see regular stuff here again. For this episode, I thought I would give some of the more memorable lines I've heard while working at the zoo.

1) me: The camera with flash works well if you want to take indoor photos, but the one without flash is good if you only will be shooting outdoors. customer: What do you mean by "outdoors?"

2) parent to 4 year old child: No, you can't have anything. You're in trouble, remember? child (after staring at parent): I'm not going to visit you when you get old.

3) parent to child grabbing his crotch: Do you have to go to the bathroom? child: My penis hurts.

4) coworker: After I buy my new station wagon, I want to drive it on dirt roads, so I'm going to West Virginia.

5) coworker: Are there any special drivers licenses for a Vespa?

more to come.