Every so often, I start to feel like I need to make subtle adjustments with my life. Sometimes I feel like I need to make catastrophic changes. Sometimes I feel like I might actually stick to the planned change. I've never been one for resolutions, but every so often, something clicks, and I realize that I'm going to do things different. I hope this is one of those occasions.
When I quit smoking, there was no magic occurrence, no flash in the head that inspired me...I just woke up one morning, realized I was no longer enjoying the habit, felt like it was time to quit...and it was.
So I got all gung-ho and bought the patches, threw away my smokes and lighter...and then, in the patch directions, they recommended that I switch brands of cigarettes daily, so my body wouldn't be jonesing for a particular cigarette...so I had to fish my smokes out of the trash and continue smoking for two weeks when I really didn't want to. I ran the gamut of brands: Pall Mall, Merits, Dorals, you name it.
Then, the day came. I trashed all my lighters again, put on the patch, and drove to my new job as a graduate assistant...it was my first day. Unfortunately, a very heavy rainfall shut down all but two of Jacksonville's bridges, and the normally 40 minute drive to campus took me 2 1/2 hours...my first time not smoking. How I didn't pull the car over and light an entire pack at once due to stress, I'll never know.
For a good six months, I wanted to rip cigarettes out of people's mouths, pick up butts off the street, but somehow I persevered...I don't know how. In many ways, I'm a very weak, impulsive man, but I had just had enough of smoking...the time was right.
Today, I have the idea that I really need to get healthy. The college lifestyle isn't the most invigorating, physically, but I've let myself slip. I drink more than I probably should, get less exercise than I need, and succumb to junk food more than I need to. I'm not making any promises...yes, I will still go to bars and eat pizza on occasion...but I'm thinking it's the time to get healthy.
Maybe by publically confessing, I will actually stick to the plan...but I'm hoping that, rather than being a wistful idea, that something has clicked inside, that I'm as ready for the change as I was ready to quit smoking. Stay tuned for details.