Friday, June 20, 2008

on the road--big city edition

So the spousal unit and I are doing as close to a vacation as we're gonna get this year...a weekend visiting a spouse friend in New Jersey. Naturally, this will mean lots of trips to New York City. I hear that if you can make it there....well, your chances elsewhere are fine.

My main reason for coming along, other than keeping the spousal unit happy, is that I've wanted to see Coney Island for some time, ride the roller coaster and all that. Well, next off-season, that's all getting torn down so that yuppie condos can go up. So this is my last chance.

I also want to eat pizza, bagels, and hot dogs, and New Yorkians are always arguing that they have the best. I'll be the judge of that, damnit.

Yesterday was taken up by traveling. Wee. Some observations:

  • For all the variety in this great land, the world is awfully boring, dull, and monotonous when driving on the interstate. Yes, this isn't news to anyone, but I often like restating the obvious, as my spouse will gladly tell you.
  • Someone in Pennsylvania got goofy with their road signage...there are "Buckle Up for the Next Million Miles" signs, as well as places where they've painted big circles on the road itself, to visually demonstrate how much following distance you should have. And it works...when the circles are on the road, no one tailgates. Of course, they go back to riding your bumper soon enough when the circles go by-by. Better driving via like.
  • Somewhere in PA, we passed a truck owned by someone who likes TGIFridays so much, he festooned the back of his vehicle with bumper stickers. I would like to blame Guy Fieri, but people have been enjoying their frozen, pre-made food for ages before he started mugging for them.
  • Every stereotype you hear about New Jersey drivers is true.
  • New Jersey also loves their signage, but their love is more demanding. They have signs at rest areas telling you not to run through flower beds, not to throw things in the urinals, to wash your hands, to dry your hands. On the road itself, they have (for some reason) signs telling you to maintain your speed even if you're driving up-hill. They think, I have concluded, you must be an idiot, or they're just into the whole police state thing.
  • The spousal unit's friend's place is nice, in a nice neighborhood, but it is one of the noisiest places in existence. The birds started their atonal chirping at 4am. The street sweeper made seven drive-bys at 7am. These people need to sleep, damnit.

Today, we go to the city. We will negotiate the trains and subways. I will ride the Coney Island Cyclone. We will eat hot dogs. And I will report back...because that's what I you don't have to.


Andy said...

The five boroughs are the only place in the world where pizza is available. When they tell you you are buying pizza elsewhere, they are lying. Soon you will grasp the deep truth of the statement and be saved.

This may also be true for bagels.

On the matter of PA roadsigns, I've become convinced they must have a sign factory in state somewhere that is employing s vital voting bloc. Those "buckle up next million miles" signs are splattered across even the smallest state routes.

Have fun in NYC! Take pictures for me!

Jennifer said...

I'm so bummed I didn't get to go to Coney Island when I was in NYC in March. My mom and sister didn't have an interest in going ;(

Now I'll never get to go!