Monday, April 26, 2010

one of my turns

I am currently (for reasons I don't really wanna get into here) in a funk. I spent most of yesterday in a rotten mood...and by rotten, I mean the "I hate everyone of you idiots"/thunderclouds/looks of pure evil/decaying flesh moods. I wanted to hurt every single person, animal, mineral, and vegetable on this and on one other planet.

Ultimately, I realized I needed to get out of said mood. In fact, I spent a lot of the day contemplating various mood elevators. However, each unfortunately possessed a fatal flaw.

I wanted to punch somebody or something. However, I'm currently having arm issues (which I initially suspected were pulled muscles, but the three week duration suggests otherwise). Hurting myself more, when I already feel 183 years old and am contemplating walkers, would not, I suspect, ultimately make me any happier.

I then wanted to play something horrifically heavy on guitar. However, our band's material is really not violent enough save one song, and that one doesn't even have a guitar solo...which would limit the amount of ear drum damage I could achieve. I did try and play some Rage Against the Machine during practice, but while one band member played along, the other members just exchanged the seemingly omnipresent "here Mike goes again" look amongst themselves.

If I couldn't perform violence (or the representation thereof) myself, I wanted to at least see some violence...and lo and behold, there was in fact a wrestling pay-per-view. However, I only know one person who would conceivably go with me, and he wanted to stay in. I should've hunted him down and performed a pile-driver...but I like him in spite of his wimpiness in this particular matter...and furthermore, see the above "hurt" point about self-inflicting injury.

I wanted to drink. And by drink, I meant epic drinking bout. However, I had to be up stupidly early today, so my body wasn't really ready for the inevitable hangover compounding my already inevitable sleep deprivation. Also, I would've had to drink alone, and that tends to elevate rather than alleviate my moods. Hey, my life ain't Barfly

So hear this, every single person in the world: you better be glad I have a lovely spousal unit who makes me feel fuzzy and temperate...because if not for her, you would have had to deal with yesterday's mood compounded for 24 more hours. Trust me: that would not have been pretty.

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