"Sorry you didn't get much sleep last night. I tried to get her to go down, but she was fighting it."
"Don't worry. You tried hard. You're a marvelous daddy."
"It's just so aggravating. I just want her to sleep, and she's regressing. She's sleeping like a two week old again."
"It'll get better. Remember, our doctor said some babies start to sleep regularly in two months, some take four..."
"Yeah, I know, but it just seems to be getting worse. Honestly, I'm just really exhausted...and you're getting less sleep than I am."
"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm just a less cranky person than you."
"Duh. The only person I know who is more cranky is [name redacted]. Honestly, I'm so cranky, I'm surprised no one's offered me my own talk show."