Friday, October 14, 2011

frozen food week two: pot pie

Hey, remember when I promised to write about my frozen food of the week experience? Well, yesterday's lunch was a frozen pot pie. The damn thing required a 35 minute bake time. I could've used the microwave directions, but I, dunno, like browning. I then let the thing rest for ten rather than the instructed five minutes...not by choice, but by screaming kid. When I finally got to it, I noticed:

  • As frozen food is now designed for microwave rather than conventional oven use (the real oven directions are even in smaller print), they contain weird elements...such as a paper pie plate? Really?
  • The crust, as it's also designed for a microwave, burns quite handily along the outer edges. Yum....blackened pastry!
  • Ten minutes of resting is not nearly enough. One day later, I can still feel the scars in my mouth from the lava flow within.
  • While the product doesn't taste bad by any means, it also didn't really taste good...or like anything you'd ever go out of your way to eat ever again...even if one was a vulture.
  • For a pie which is supposedly beef, there's very little actual beef in it. What is there is rather stringy. Okay, everyone...please quit baking with fact, if you use round beef for anything other than cube steak, you will be shot.
  • A quick perusal of the ingredients shows hydrolyzed soy protein and garlic juice to be key ingredients. They also list "beef flavor," which includes autolyzed yeast extract....mmmm, just like mommy used to make!
  • This "single serving" is about half the size of an actual single serving of anyone's measure.
  • It also contains 50% of a day's saturated fat, along with 800mg of sodium. Healthy!

I'm now reconsidering actually continuing with the frozen food of the week...because I want to live and be unscarred.

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