Tuesday, March 17, 2015

shamrocks, stereotypes, and stupid behavior.

Today is St. Patrick's Day. A holiday...where one has to work. Wee.

When I was still drinking, we used to refer to this as "amateur day." It's largely used by the amateurs as an excuse to behave badly and do things which would normally just tick off everyone around them. In Bowling Green, the bars open at a responsible 5:30am, and students are drunk as early as seven. When I taught in town, we used to get warnings to just send drunk students home. One St. Patrick's Day, I was eating lunch at the local diner, and I heard these drunk undergrads in the next booth bragging about how one of them had already puked on the dance floor in one of the clubs. While this might be entertaining for children, as a true drinker, I never would've wanted to see it under the logic that being drunk isn't an excuse for being a jerk. Now I don't drink, my tolerance is even lower.

Critically, I can't help but think of today as Formerly Oppressed But Now Accepted White Person Identity Strategic Appropriation Day. Yeah, this is unwieldy, and I'm aware that even the acronym (FOBNAWPISAD) wouldn't even catch on. Depending on who you want to believe, my mother's side of the family might've come to England from Ireland. This means that I have as much if not more right to claim this identity than most of the revelers. Yet I still don't claim it today even though it might mean something for me...because I never claim it during the rest of the year. And even if I did claim it, all claiming to be Irish today really means is 1) wearing green, 2) drinking until one is five miles past excess, and 3) getting into fights. Sorry, but I'm not really in favor of negative stereotypes, even if in the service of a buzz.

Realistically, then, this is yet another holiday which has no real meaning to me...and it's not even as fun or as Freudian as Groundhog's Day. Some of my favorite bands are playing out tonight, so I might venture out later if I don't have band practice. My only hope would be that by then, all the idiots will have already worn themselves out.

Really, the only positive thing about this holiday is oddly colored fast food milkshakes.

Bah humbug.

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