Tuesday, December 13, 2022

a new Christmas story

"Yard Christmas decorations used to be made out of hard plastic. No we have all these inflatables."

"Yeah?," I hear from the back seat (along with a slight sigh).

"Well, I think I know what the next step in outdoor holiday decorations will be."


"Holograms! That way, instead of all these static displays, you could have them act out scenes! Stories instead of boring figures.

"Pretty soon, though, people will realize that if you have a really interesting scene, you'll get more views. So people will start experimenting with having their holograms act out different genres of stories."


"Oh, at first, people will do holiday stories. But pretty soon, someone will try comedy. Then drama. Then action-adventure, romance.... The stories and the holograms will get more intense and interesting. Production value will go up and up.

"People will soon recognize that the best stories aren't on television or their phone but on their neighbors' lawns. People will walk around their neighborhood, looking for the best stories. The owners of the houses with the best stories will get endorsement deals, becone famous...and the battle for the best holigram decoration story will get more intense."

We pull into the school dropoff line.

"Of course, someone will remember that we, as a society, like shows with action and violence. So they'll put up a war story hologram. But by this point, the hologram displays have gotten so realistic, so intense, that all their neighbors will think they're under attack. It will just escalate and escalate."

We get to the front of the line. "Mark my words, honey: the next world war will be brought about by Christmas decorations."

""Okay, I'm confused."

"Just have a great day at school. Love you, honey."

"Bye, Dad."

She walks to her classmates, and I pull out of the parking lot. I head for home, confident that I have given my daughter something to think about before her school day starts.

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